


メモリーズ

by ignite_pass_tetsuya



Series: Seirin Week 2015 [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Light Angst, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignite_pass_tetsuya/pseuds/ignite_pass_tetsuya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko reflects on the events of his basketball career that have led him to where he is today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	メモリーズ

**Author's Note:**

> Song lyrics are from Granrodeo's "Memories", the opening from the Seirin vs. Rakuzan arc.

_I realized quite a while ago how weak I am;_

_I don’t wanna get too familiar with someone like that_

This is the way that I used to think, if I am honest with myself. After my experiences at Teiko, I believed myself to be weak. Insufficient. A little bit useless. I believed that I couldn’t possibly be a help to my team; only a hindrance. I had found my own style of basketball, but it had the drawback of being dependent upon others. At least, that’s what others call it. I never found it to be an inconvenience. But in the end, I couldn’t use this basketball to keep my team together.

It took coaxing to finally expand my horizons and search for an answer. I came to realize that I would not make my way through the ranks and up to the first string unless I did something miraculous, since my classmates were just that. However, I was at a loss as to what I could do, regardless of the number of tools I had at my disposal.

I no longer wanted to remain a person I considered to be “weak”. I wanted to prove myself to everyone. I had no desire to sit on the bench throughout all of middle school, watching mindlessly as my teammates ran back and forth across the hardwood of the basketball court I was only familiar with during practice and warm-ups. I wanted to do more. I wanted to _be_ more. But no matter how I tried, my countless hours of practice did not lead to differences in my performance on the court.

_Even if I were to set off a fuse by lamenting that this complacent world’s no good,_

_It won’t light a fire under me._

It was frustrating. That was the first time I thought I should give up and quit the sport I loved. I had lost the will to fight back for my right to advance through the ranks. Luckily, Akashi-kun was there to give me a push in the right direction without deciding my future for me, for which I was grateful. It took time to conclude that I was indeed different, but that instead of viewing this as a setback, I could turn it into an advantage. My lack of presence was not a curse, but a gift. And I was going to accept the opportunity presented to me without question. A second chance.

It took time, but I finally discovered an answer that would lead me to the first string of the Teiko Basketball Team. Soon enough, I was being called on to play—as a starter, no less. I had never been so nervous in my life and made a fool of myself to start, but when I re-entered later, Akashi-kun was there to calm me down and keep my focus where it needed to be. Keeping a handle on my emotions worked wonders in games, adding to my already diminished presence and allowing me to assist my teammates quite effectively.

That is, until they morphed from a team to a collection of individuals, and our leading scorer forgot how to receive my passes.

_We held hands for thousands of years_

_This sad state of affairs has been exposed_

_And we’ve landed in different places_

We were broken. As a team, and as individuals. We no longer had the same desire and drive and love for the game that we had when we entered the gym for tryouts during our first year. Gone was the passion. The light and fire had been extinguished from our eyes. The bonds forged had broken; the final strings desperately trying to hold the rope together snapped, revealing only frayed, tattered, ends. I graduated from Teiko Middle School uncertain as to whether or not I could mend the damage to our hearts.

But despite their changed demeanor, I couldn’t possibly leave the Generation of Miracles behind. They had been my closest friends not long ago, and I was determined to find a spark, however small, to rekindle the flame into existence.

I needed a new answer. But this time, I did not know if I was looking in the correct place.

_I’m scared off by how tall the wall that I want to take down is_

_So tired_

_Tell me your theories on human life_

_Freak out! It’s hard to try to put it into words_

_So I won’t catch up with my own sensitivity_

I chose Seirin High School after briefly watching them participate in the Winter Cup. They were a small team of only six players, but they played with the same intensity and coordination I had been longing for since my first year at Teiko. They only knew one style of play: team basketball. They trusted each other without question, their confidence in themselves and each other almost infectious. My skin was buzzing under the surface of my emotional barrier as I watched, the itch to play with a _team_ almost unbearable. The most striking difference, however, was how _happy_ they looked as they rotated around the court. It had been a long time since I had seen any of my teammates smile like that. Especially Aomine-kun.

I told them everything. My new team at Seirin listened to my tale as I spoke of happiness, hardship, and heartbreak. I told them of the breakdown that every member of the Generation of Miracles inevitably faced, even if they all accepted it in a different way. They learned of Ogiwara-kun and the inner turmoil I wrestled with, believing that I had caused him to quit basketball. It was the night before we faced Akashi-kun, and I felt they deserved to know what we would face in the coming hours.

They never showed fear or hesitation, not once. Never did anyone portray on their faces the desire to back out or give up. The barrier standing before us was tall and strong, but none of them flinched while standing in its shadow. And when I began to fall ever so slightly back into the darker corners of my mind, I felt the touch of eleven strong hands pulling me back from the abyss and into their embrace.

_“There’s no way Shige thinks that. You’re just determined to reject his forgiveness. Anyway, what are you going to do? ‘This is who I am, but please accept me anyway?’ If that’s what you’re asking for, I’ll beat the crap out of you. We’ve always been teammates! Isn’t that what you thought?”_

Yes, Kagami-kun. You were correct. You still are. And I apologize for not _truly_ accepting this fact sooner.

_Is having fun such a bad thing, my darlin’?_

_Those days were the second best time I’ve ever had_

_The best is yet to come_

Kagami-kun once told Midorima-kun that “of course we play basketball because it’s fun”. Based upon my experiences, I am inclined to agree with him. Though there was a time when I wanted to quit playing basketball because I thought I hated it, that span of time was relatively short compared to the amount of time I’ve spent loving the game and enjoying time the time spent with my teammates; my friends.

When I take the time to reflect on my basketball career, I always come to the conclusion that I am very glad I played basketball, and I am thankful that I did not quit after leaving Teiko. My teammates at Seirin have only helped to solidify this notion and reinforce my conclusion. With them, I have found a home. We have shown the Generation of Miracles that playing together as a team will take you higher than working alone ever will. In fact, we’ve proven that to all of Japan. But in the end, the most important thing I have gained this season are the friends that will remain throughout the rest of my life.

The shining memories forged over the past short year have helped to erase the sting of those that are not. While I think those more painful memories are important to remind myself of the lessons I’ve learned and the advances I’ve made as a person and player, I believe it is the fond memories of celebration and elation that should remain at the forefront. As I advance through the coming years with my friends and teammates by my side, I may even find I can replace the happy memories at the top with even _better_ memories. At this point, feeling as though we stand at the top of the world, I don’t know how that could be possible. But if there is one thing I’ve learned recently, it is that this team will always find ways to surprise me.

There is no meaning to victory if you win alone.

With this team, I never have to again.

_Your shadow before my eyes, seen through the filter in front of my eyes that disappeared_

_The scenery is more vibrant than any faded colors._


End file.
